You Need to Lose Weight

"Emilija, you must lose weight! Your face is too wide, you absolutely must lose weight," said a woman to me recently, on a day where I wasn't in a particularly good mood, slightly hungover and PMS'ing hard. A rude woman, I've known for as long as I can remember, made that comment about a photo of me where I spent hours getting ready and felt pretty great about my appearance for once. I sat in silent bemusement and a family member jumped to defend me in a backhanded way; "But she's already lost 5 kilos!" An all too familiar lump rose in my throat and I made my excuses and left.

As if I don't see myself in the mirror, as if my lumps and bumps and cellulite and stretch marks are invisible to me.

This is certainly not the first time comments like this have been thrown at me at the dinner table, and over the years I've grown used to them. Now I'm someone who doesn't have much self-confidence, only feelin' myself when I've spent hours on hair and makeup and put on an outfit meticulously picked out to hide my sins, although what confidence I do have has taken about 6 years of work to develop. I'm going to be quite frank here and admit that around the age of 15 my sense of self-worth didn't exist, I hated everything about how I looked and about who I was - I saw no point in existing as I cried myself to sleep more times than I'd like to think about. My relationship with food and my weight was the worst its ever been, all while I was a developing teenager.

There came a point where I thought enough was enough, and out of sheer stubbornness I began accepting who I was and slowly changing things I could to better myself growing stronger in the process - although I still have a long journey ahead of me, I'm definitely not perfect. I'm working to redevelop how I look at food, as fuel rather than a comfort blanket and I'm exercising 3 times a week. The point of this long post is that comments like that would have affected me much worse back in the day, now I just try to brush them off and even then it's hard. Yes I may be a size 16 but I'm in good health, I'm quite physically strong, I can run a mile in around 9 minutes and my mental health is the best it's ever been - appearances are easily deceiving. If anything such a comment just reflects on the person making them - this woman was from an older generation raised in a culture of keeping up appearances and outdoing your neighbours, and it showed in that moment. 

You must lose weight, Emilija.

Now if my mental health was worse, a small comment like this would have crumbled my world - so imagine for a moment how tiny remarks make those around you feel. You can never know what a person is dealing with mentally and there's no need to be rude. So from one human to another, let's all take a moment to consider how our words may affect those around us.

Until next time,

Emilija x


  1. Back at it again with the brilliant post, loved this Emilija. As long as you're happy and healthy that is what's important, such a good read x